Our boys have a problem--they aren't getting any poontang. Things are getting pretty desparate, so they thought the use of personal ads could help them find their dream screw, er, girl.
WANT TO RIDE AN ITALIAN STALLION?? Hey!! Everybody!! SWM wishes to get together for a night or two of hot sweaty sex. Into porn, sex toys, and anything relating to sex. Love a girl who likes to get down. Any age, race, or physical description is fine. Make sure to bring plenty of extra large condoms and food. Call 1-800-JOEY-LUV.
LIKE FERRETS? SAM(That is single, albino, male for those that don't know) looking for ferret lover, or SWM named Joey Fatone. Ability to trade makeup secrets is a plus. Must have a dead horse to talk about. Call 1-800-LANCIE-POO if interested.
I GOT DA HOOK-UP!! Yo, I be a FMF (fly mo' fo') lookin for a ho to spend da night with. Yo, you got to be able to git on down and git all freaky on ma fly ass. You gots to do lots o hoochie dancin and git back that thang up in ma face. If you wanna piece of my fly self, call 1-800-BENZ-THUG.
HI. I am a 27 year old male stuck in a boy band. I suck, but I do like surfin the net and playing sports. I have a huge bulge in my pants. If you go out with me, I'll let you see it. I also like dogs, but I don't like my women to be dogs. Hehe. I don't like albinos from Mississippi, so if you are one and you answer this ad, STOP IT LANCE!! If you wanna go out with me before I commit suicide, call 1-800-BUSTA-MOVE. Hehe.
ZZZZZZZ. Hey, I'm an anorexic singer who's looking for someone special for an hour. I like to sleep and sing, and uh, well, sleep. If you want, we can sleep together. Must be blonde and weigh under 90 pounds like me. CALL 1-800-JC-BOOTY.