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Our Reasons Why Lance Sucks

~Lance is a girl in a boy band

~Lance wants Joey and Joey ain't interested

~He has absolutely NO sex appeal

~He looks like he's having waayyyy too much fun when he grabs himself

~His roots show worse than a $5 hooker's

~He wanders off during concerts when the other guys are into hardcore dancing

~The name LANCE itself is lame

~He shares his last name with a species of fish

~He's a woman

~We DO NOT CARE that he's from Mississippi, but he insists on telling us

~We don't care about his dead horse either

~The vacant stare

~He never has anything intelligent to say

~We're betting he's a virgin

~He knows more about cosmetics than the 3 of us combined

~He makes watching *Nsync in concert difficult--instead of watching our pretty boys, we're focused on the stupid things he does

~He insists on constantly TOUCHING the other group members

~He about fell off the platform into the crowd at the concert

~He refers to his gentalia as Poo-Foo

~His crotch shot on HBO was the most repulsive thing I have ever seen (except of course his face)

~He owns a ferret which is currently posing as his minimee

~He is an albino, when in hollywood when your pale and ugly you seek a surgeon

~His favorite movie is Clue and he still doesn't know who the killer is

~He was a hidious baby

~Even his parents don't like him so why should we

~His former occupation was with the Mississippi Show Stoppers (He's a winner)

~On VH1 before they were rock stars the camera caught him at about 16 playin patty cake

~He thinks dying his hair blue and being himself will get him fans

~We're betting that he dyes his pubic hair

~We cannot even begin to figure out what nationality he is--leading us to further believe he was created in a lab

~He looks better dressed as a woman

~He gets to see the other *Nsyncers naked

~He pisses in the shower

~Let me repeat that: LANCE PISSES IN THE SHOWER!! What the hell is wrong with him!?!?

~He gets his own, personal tour bus... WITH JOEY!!!!

LaaLaaLance... the Antichrist

What an idiot!

Go for the gold, Lance! Just pretend Joey's waiting for you!

Lance...drunk... can you imagine?!

And On The 7th Day, God Created LANCE (Out Of Spare Parts Lying Around)

THE ORIGIN OF LANCE

Lance Bass is not from Mississppi. His real name is not even Lance. A creature named Onthroghlanceton was created in a science lab, a cross-breed between a rat and a retard. He was to remain in isolation his whole life, too hideous for humans to gaze upon. One day, back in 19??, a fire broke out in the lab. Onthrogolancton seized his chance to escape from his prison. He ran away to Orlando, trying to make a living as a circus freak when he heard about an opening in *NSync. Deciding that he would much rather sing and dance, Onthrogolancton shortened his name to Lance and auditioned for the group.

Things We Like About Lance

~Uh, when we think of one we'll get back to you

HELL NO!!!!!

He looks like a butch lesbian in this picture

Lancie-poo forgot to put on his makeup for this picture

Lance, never talk to Joey like that again!!

"Look at me!! I'm so pretty!! Pretty, pretty Lancey!!"

"It's not TURQUIOSE, it's TEAL!!!!"

Lance didn't exactly put his glasses on right...

Does Lance actually think this outfit looks good and non-gay??