Our boys have a problem--they aren't getting any poontang. Things are getting pretty desparate, so they thought the use of personal ads could help them find their dream screw, er, girl.
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WANT TO RIDE AN ITALIAN STALLION?? Hey!! Everybody!! SWM wishes to get together for a night or two of hot sweaty sex. Into porn, sex toys, and anything relating to sex. Love a girl who likes to get down. Any age, race, or physical description is fine. Make sure to bring plenty of extra large condoms and food. Call 1-800-JOEY-LUV.
LIKE FERRETS? SAM(That is single, albino, male for those that don't know) looking for ferret lover, or SWM named Joey Fatone. Ability to trade makeup secrets is a plus. Must have a dead horse to talk about. Call 1-800-LANCIE-POO if interested.
I GOT DA HOOK-UP!! Yo, I be a FMF (fly mo' fo') lookin for a ho to spend da night with. Yo, you got to be able to git on down and git all freaky on ma fly ass. You gots to do lots o hoochie dancin and git back that thang up in ma face. If you wanna piece of my fly self, call 1-800-BENZ-THUG.
HI. I am a 27 year old male stuck in a boy band. I suck, but I do like surfin the net and playing sports. I have a huge bulge in my pants. If you go out with me, I'll let you see it. I also like dogs, but I don't like my women to be dogs. Hehe. I don't like albinos from Mississippi, so if you are one and you answer this ad, STOP IT LANCE!! If you wanna go out with me before I commit suicide, call 1-800-BUSTA-MOVE. Hehe.
ZZZZZZZ. Hey, I'm an anorexic singer who's looking for someone special for an hour. I like to sleep and sing, and uh, well, sleep. If you want, we can sleep together. Must be blonde and weigh under 90 pounds like me. CALL 1-800-JC-BOOTY.
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