Meatball Heaven... An *Nsync Humor Page
Joey's Meatball Waiver


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Don't get us wrong--we love Joey. But we do realize that he, uh, likes doing the horizontal jam. But, nowadays, being a star and getting poontang isn't as easy as it used to be. A guy has to be careful. So here is the statement Joey's attorneys drew up for his, uh, hobby.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Meatball Waiver~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I,__________, am under 18 and have agreed to participate in various sexual acts with Joseph Anthony Fatone Jr. I accept the following terms and conditions of this statement. I realize this is a legally binding contract with the afore mentioned, and in violating it, I am subject to criminal prosecution.

Terms of Waiver

1) Whatever happens between me and Joey will stay between me and Joey.

2) I will not go to the press or tell anyone about the events that happened between me and Joey. If I do, Joey and *Nsync will disavow all knowledge of my story.

3) If I become pregnant with Joey's baby, I will not seek child support or try to contact Joey about our love-child.

4) If I contract any sexually transmitted diseases, it was not from Joey. I am a slut who sleeps around.

5) If I am under 13, absolutely NONE of Joey's meatballs for me.

6) If I am 14 or 15, my time with Joey is limited to 2 hours.

7) If I am 14 or 15, I my only participate in the following sexual acts with Joey:

*Oral Sex

Intercourse of any kind is not permitted.

8) If I am 16, 17, or 18, I must show identification and proof of age.

9) If I am 16, 17, or 18, I have unlimited time with Joey. All sexual acts are permitted.

10) I realize no cameras, video recorders, or flash photography is allowed. Signs and posters are also prohibited.

11) If I choke on a meatball, it is not Joey's fault.

12) I cannot sue for coverage of hospital bills if Joey falls on me while swinging from a trapeze.

13) In the event of getting any bodily fluid in my eye, I will thoroughly wash it out before continuing.

14) Joey's meatballs are spicy--my mouth may get burnt.

15) Joey may get all freaky on my ass--I will like it.

16) It is necessary to wear a helmet and knee pads through the duration of the night to prevent injury.

17) Sauce is optional.

18) Spanking is not allowed between 11:30 PM and 1:15 AM.

I agree to the above mentioned terms and fully understand them. I am of sound mind and body in signing this contract.