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Our *Nsync Concert Experience


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The Night of a Thousand Horrors (and Senile Larry)


On July 16th, 2000, we went to see the concert of a lifetime... *NSYNC! Not only was it a great concert, but a pretty funny story. Get some refreshments as it may take a while to read, but we promise, it'll definitely be worth it!

*As told by Marisa*

The day started out as I went to Leah's house, and then we both went to Deanna's (our other friend) house together. We hung out for a while and then soon it was time to go! Yippee!

So we all piled in the car.. which was not an easy task, let me tell you. Me, Leah, and Nicki were stuffed in the backseat, De, her mom, and crazy old man Larry were in the front. (Ok, you might be wondering why there was a random senile old man with us.. he was there to keep De's mom company)We first realized this would be a hard trip when Larry asked if there was anyone skinnier than De and then demanded Leah get in the front seat with him. She sat there, quite afraid until De's mom told him to shut up and get in the car.

We were not even on the road for 2 minutes when Larry started going on and on about how he wanted to drive, how he would be quiet if they let him drive. De and her mom were screaming at him already. So we pulled over and let the senile old man drive... oh God help us....

Us in the backseat started praying, singing church songs, whatever we could do make our peace with God, should we die with the old man behind the wheel. He was riding the line the whole way there. It was so scary. Everytime we pointed out something on the side of the road, Larry felt like he too should look at it instead of driving.

After what seemed like hours, we finally stopped at the infamous Dick's Diner to eat. Our waiter looked like Nick Carter, except skinnier and with herpes. Nicki amused us with her eating habits and attacking her lettuce, and Larry wandered off every 2 minutes. De's mom was being super nice and gave us money for most of our meal... I think cause she felt bad cause she brought Larry. So we make our way out of the Diner, and the car is M.I.A. UH-OH!!! Where's Larry??? For a minute we were scared out of our minds, till we saw that he just moved it to another parking spot... ok

We were finally out on the road again, still with Larry at the wheel.We finally got to the line of traffic outside the Three Rivers Stadium. Larry was so awed by all the people, he forgot to drive and just sat there and watched. OH GOD! Finally we got the hell outta that car and made our way to the concert.

We bought our souveniers...which left me completely broke, and we headed into the madhouse. We went the WHOLE way up to our seats in peanut heaven. At least we could see the stage. We used the binoculars to look at all the skanks trying to get backstage passes by wearing tight clothes and flirting with the crew members. *GAG*

At last the opening acts came on... the 1st one was Ron Irizarry or something like that. It was him, and no one else. He had a pink guitar, couldn't sing, and the backup guitarist (with his purple Howie D guitar) he had out, dropped his pick all the time...

Then Innosense came out, or as we liked to call them... INNASKANKS! 5 girls that couldn't sing and desperately tried to make us like them... that wasn't gonna happen.

Finally TALENT came out, in the form of Pink. She was awesome. It was about time someone good came out. Jeez.
While preparing the stage for *Nsync, they took some CDs out of Lance's cd collection and started playing Phil Collins Greatest Hits. OH DEAR GOD!It finally got dark, so we knew they were coming soon. All the girls would scream when smoke came out behind the curtain, like it was them coming out...

FINALLY! OUR BOYS CAME OUT! They came down on strings to a little music box song, and then busted out with "No Strings Attached!" Oh are those boys even more beautiful in person. They sang all their hits from the 1st cd and mostly everything from the new CD.

During one of their breaks, they had a show for us on the monitor. It was the guys spoofing Mystery Science Theater, and they were all watching tv. They stumbled upon Who Wants To Be A Millionare, with who else, but Lance on it. Lance had no clue what the answer was to a POKEMON question, so he phoned a friend. All the cell phones rang and the rest of the boys couldn't help him with the question. So he asked us, the audience! Hehe! We gave the woman the right answer, so they came back out and sang some more.

The front part of the stage came off and it went into the middle of the audience (It was cleared out--no rabid *Nsync fans!) They did "This I Promise You" while moving on this thing. Me and Leah started crying cause they are just so beautiful. :*)

During the show, Jusin and JC had on see through shirts, JC had on leather pants, and Joey had on a fuzzy pimp hat! LOL! (We later learned that it, in fact, was a shower cap.)Chris had a video camera and taped us cause it was his hometown.

After their last song, they waited a couple minutes and then came back out with "Digital Getdown." And of course they closed with "Bye Bye Bye!"

Getting out of there was a mad rush, with all the people. We finally got to the spot where we were supossed to meet De's mom, and she wasn't there. So we looked around, called her cell phone, and still couldn't get through to her. So we sat down on the sidewalk and watched all the skanks go by.

Finally De's mom and Larry were on the other side of the street. Apparently they were walking around trying to find us for an hour, cause they didn't remember where they said they'd meet us. AAAHHHH! We had to walk the whole way back from where we came and then some. Then Larry tried to make random conversation with with us. ICK!

Then what was even scarier, Larry got in to drive home... Mind you it's late, he's old, he's gonna fall asleep. We got lost at first, and he kept telling us to be quiet cause we were laughing and stuff. Screw you old man!

Then we stopped somewhere to go to the bathroom, cause we had to go bad! A bunch of people from the concert, and dirty people from Ozzfest were also there. Joy! While we were in line, De started telling us how mad she was at her mom and Larry. What made it funny, was that her mom was right behind her, and she didn't even know it! Tehehehe.

Then Larry came up and knocked on the glass at us. AHH! Larry then came in and tried to get in the bathroom (totally skipping line) but was upset to find out someone was in there.

Then someone cut in front of Nicki in line and she started yelling "Fuck it!" and "I'll fucking wait until we get home!!" Which wouldn't have been bad, but De's mom was standing in front of her and almost passed out from hearing the F-bomb dropped so many times in 1 minute.

So, leaving the Sunoco, we saw Larry coming out from behind the station, zipping up his pants. UH-OH!! Larry peed
behind the Sunoco!!

Thank God De's mom took over driving from then on in. We would've been dead if she hadn't. So we were on our way home, finally, and we amused ourselves by talking about Larry and his craziness, and men how dress up their genitals during sex.

We decided that Joey probably dresses up Joey Jr in a Superman outfit. We laughed hysterically. We thought we were being pretty quiet until we later found out the whole car had heard us.

Finally we got back to De's house, and after a couple hours of goofing around, we went to bed. What a story. We should've gotten backstage passes for what we went through to go see them. :P




"It's like there's vasoline on your eyeball"~Nicki (Don't even ask)

"His name is unpronouncable by the human tongue" (Leah speaking of Ron Irizarry and his dumb last name)

"Lance is a woman!!!!" (Which was yelled many, many times and almost got us in a fight with some college girls in front of us who were Lance fans. WHAT LOSERS!!)

"Stop playing stuff from Lance's CD collection!" (All we heard pre-show was PHIL COLLINS)

"Nicki, get A.J. out of your mouth!" (Nicki chewed on her AJ keychain the whole concert so she would not turn into an *Nsync fan. THAT worked well)

"Look! It's Phil Collins!" (Actually, it was a bald guy in front of us--but it could've been him)

"JUSTIN POON-TANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Screamed at the top of her lungs by Leah many times during the concert)

"Ride the line!" (Senile Larry and his 2 lane driving habits)


"We want TALENT!" (Our chant midway through Innoskanks performance)

"I'm so glad you girls don't crack gum. That really annoys
us while we're driving"~Senile Larry (Sorry, we dunno what that means either)

FOOT.....DUMBASS" ~Leah (When we got stuck in downtown Pittsburgh for an hour)

"Do you have any gray poupon?".... "YOU'RE A LOSER!!!!" (Marisa yelled at some dirty chick in a limo who asked us that)

"Who are you going to see again? Are they black or white?" ~Senile Larry (After the 50th time of asking us)

"Look at all the people... I wonder where they are going"
~Senile Larry

"You're a day away from ovulation?"~Nicki to Marisa (What Risa really said was something about the population, but Nicki wasn't paying attention)

"You legal? You look legal! You want some of my meatball
sandwich?"~Joey looking out at all the skanks in the

"Granny Kirkpatrick! I think she's stuck in the porta
potty!" (We gots lots of weird looks for this one)

"How much were the tickets? Fifty bucks!?! Oh well, I guess it comes out to 10 dollars for each of you"~Senile Larry

"Oh my God!! Joey's dad is in the next section!!" (Us trying to get the teeny-boppers in a frenzy)

"God must've spent a little more time on Pittsburgh"~Lance
(Shut the hell up, Lance!!)

"Where's Granny Kirkpatrick? We have funnel cakes for her!!"(Actually, we didn't)

"I'm Herpes!! I'm Chlamydia!! I'm Gonorrhea!! I'm Syphilis!! And I'm HIVP--the P is for Positive!!"~Innoskanks (Introducing who they are...Heh, heh)