Meatball Heaven... An *Nsync Humor Page
Ways To Get Your Ass Backstage


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Stupid *Nsync Fans

It's something every *Nsync fan dreams of--meeting the fabulous five. And if you use our tips, you just might get to. (Or get arrested--but if the latter happens, we have ideas for that too.)

How To Meet The Boys

~RUN!! Their security team is a bunch of big guys--they can't run THAT fast

~Say you're from Mississippi--automatically you're related to Lance

~Explain that JC called you and you're here to deliver his "supply"

~Tell them in beatbox fashion that your last name Lake--Timba Timba Timberlake

~Give them a note that says Busta is being held for ransom--if Chris wants him back, he'll have to meet you after the show at the nearest Holiday Inn

~Show up with lots of condoms and say you're Joey's date for tonight

~Flash your biggest smile and say, "LOOK!! Can't you tell me and Justin are related?? We have the same smile!!"

~Give the guys a message--you're a bounty hunter and your contract is Lance--they'll let you right in

~Dress up in the sluttiest clothes you can find, tease you hair out as far as it will go, dye your hair a color not found in nature, and say you're in Innosense and you got lost and need to go back

~Get a dozen meatball hoagies and say that Joey ordered them

~Gather all your friends and have them throw you past security

~Claim that you are the long-lost love child of Joey and you wanna see your daddy

~Ask--it couldn't hurt trying

~Say you're a Lance fan--nobody's ever seen one of those, so they'll want to take a look at you

~If they let you through, promise to get freaky with them

~Say you're a ferret counselor and you heard there's a ferret in distress

~Hide in a garbage, and sliding it periodically,work your way behind stage

~Tell them if they don't, you'll open up a can of whoop-ass the size of Nick Carter's ass on them

~Make up something about how a bomb is going to go off in 10 minutes--you have to defuse it

~Convince everyone you are a Kirkpatrick and Uncle Chris will be very upset when he finds out his favorite niece wasn't allowed to see him

~Try an arm-wrestling match--they win, you leave them alone; you win, boo-tay for you

What To Do If Security Tries To Arrest You


*Ask them if "deep throat" means anything to them

*Say you can't help lying--you're related to Britney

*Scream and yell, making a huge scene, until eventually an
*Nsyncer comes to find out about the commotion

*Try to impress security by showing them your
impressive "Bye Bye Bye" dance routine


*Say you can't hear them because the voices in your head
are being loud

*Make ferret sounds and act confused

*Motion to under your shirt and say you have a bomb wired
to yourself, and unless you see some *Nsync poontang, it's
gonna blow

*Try to fight them--hey, they're big guys, but can they
take a punch??

*Kick em in the nuts and run your ass off

The things we wouldn't do to meet them...