How To Meet The Boys
~RUN!! Their security team is a bunch of big guys--they can't run THAT fast
~Say you're from Mississippi--automatically you're related to Lance
~Explain that JC called you and you're here to deliver his "supply"
~Tell them in beatbox fashion that your last name Lake--Timba Timba Timberlake
~Give them a note that says Busta is being held for ransom--if Chris wants him back, he'll have to meet you after the show at the nearest Holiday Inn
~Show up with lots of condoms and say you're Joey's date for tonight
~Flash your biggest smile and say, "LOOK!! Can't you tell me and Justin are related?? We have the same smile!!"
~Give the guys a message--you're a bounty hunter and your contract is Lance--they'll let you right in
~Dress up in the sluttiest clothes you can find, tease you hair out as far as it will go, dye your hair a color not found in nature, and say you're in Innosense and you got lost and need to go back
~Get a dozen meatball hoagies and say that Joey ordered them
~Gather all your friends and have them throw you past security
~Claim that you are the long-lost love child of Joey and you wanna see your daddy
~Ask--it couldn't hurt trying
~Say you're a Lance fan--nobody's ever seen one of those, so they'll want to take a look at you
~If they let you through, promise to get freaky with them
~Say you're a ferret counselor and you heard there's a ferret in distress
~Hide in a garbage, and sliding it periodically,work your way behind stage
~Tell them if they don't, you'll open up a can of whoop-ass the size of Nick Carter's ass on them
~Make up something about how a bomb is going to go off in 10 minutes--you have to defuse it
~Convince everyone you are a Kirkpatrick and Uncle Chris will be very upset when he finds out his favorite niece wasn't allowed to see him
~Try an arm-wrestling match--they win, you leave them alone; you win, boo-tay for you |
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What To Do If Security Tries To Arrest You
*RUN!!!
*Ask them if "deep throat" means anything to them
*Say you can't help lying--you're related to Britney
Spears
*Scream and yell, making a huge scene, until eventually an
*Nsyncer comes to find out about the commotion
*Try to impress security by showing them your
impressive "Bye Bye Bye" dance routine
*Cry--ALOT
*Say you can't hear them because the voices in your head
are being loud
*Make ferret sounds and act confused
*Motion to under your shirt and say you have a bomb wired
to yourself, and unless you see some *Nsync poontang, it's
gonna blow
*Try to fight them--hey, they're big guys, but can they
take a punch??
*Kick em in the nuts and run your ass off |
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