Workout Schedule For Today
3:30 PM
Wake up and grab the nearest hypodermic needle, which is breakfast.
3:40 PM
After my breakfast has taken affect, I attempt to fly off the roof of my house.
4:15 PM
After a trip to the emergency room, I am fine.
4:30 PM
I then begin to feel my breakfast's effect of it again, and I pretend I am rubberman and bounce off the walls.
5:20 PM
After another trip to the emergency room, this time with a concussion. After a CAT scan, I'm ready to go again!
5:45 PM
I then begin my daily bench pressing routine. Joey stole
my weights and ate them, so I guess I'll have to use Lance. Although Lance seems to enjoy my hands on him a little too much.
6:00 PM
Do all the "Sweating to the Oldies" tapes by Richard
Simmons. It makes me work harder looking at all the fat
people dancing around to my favorite songs.
6:45 PM
Go running down my street. As all the fans start chasing
after me, scream for Joey so he'll rescue me from all the legal hoes that are chasing after me.
7:00 PM
Eat 20 Happy Meals from the local Mickey D's.
7:20 PM
Take a whole box of laxatives.
7:30 PM
To work off any remaining food in my system, start workout routine:
~100 push-ups
~200 crunches
~225 sit-ups
~150 lunges
~500 jumping jacks
~Run 25 miles with Joey strapped to my back along with
his food bag and 2 hoes.
8:30 PM
Pass out and lay in a pool of my own vomit.
8:35 PM
Wake up, smell vomit, pass out again.
9:00 PM
Come to and chug a bottle of Jack Daniels along with my needle friend.
9:15 PM
Pass out again, this time I do not wake up till the next day. 
JC on cloud 9 
JC on his crack high... |
